小孩跟小孩的相處不能提昇社交能力?!(19個月)

以下是Doman's eNewsletter的發表: 第一次不盡同意他的論據。

對於他說父母是小孩學習與人相處之道的最佳對象十分同意！可是，個人覺得孩子依然很需要學習如何跟其他小朋友相處。跟年紀相若的小朋友一起是另一種socialization的技能! 不知大家覺得如何呢?

就亞Bie的狀況而言, 她跟父母相處得很好, 而且機靈醒目, 可是面對其他陌生人就顯得很害羞內向, 需要安排多些接觸其他人的機會給她! 返playgroup, 是一個非常良好、愉快的學習環境! 我還是會多帶她去跟其他小朋友玩!

或許, 蒙特梭利的混齡上課就有著他的concern! 為小B選擇蒙校是個正確的選擇!

Social Growth Begins at Home
Do children really need other children

 to become socially excellent?

      One of the great modern myths is that children need other children to become "socialized." The exact opposite is true. The notion that little children learn how to be civilized from being with each other has little to recommend it. What can a three-year-old teach another three-year-old? Answer: How to behave like a three-year-old.
     When we place tiny children together, the result is chaos. If one child is a biter, then other children get bitten and learn that biting may be useful in self-defense. Generally, this is not the kind of social idea that mothers want their children to have. 
     Sometimes mothers are convinced to put their child with other children in what are called "play groups" or "kindergarten" because mother wants her child to learn to share. Mother believes that this cannot be learned at home from her. Sharing is an admirable and worthwhile objective. But two and three-year-olds are not ready to share anything. Instead, they defend their belongings against any and all comers. The "play group" only stays civilized if each mother stands right next to her child and protects that child from all the other children in the group. "Sharing" occurs only when mother pries the beloved toy truck out of her child's grasp and hands it to another child, who then gets a death grip on the truck until his mother says that he has "shared" the truck for long enough and it is pried out of his grasp to be returned to its little, very anxious owner.
      If the above scene takes place without a mother with each child, then the result is much worse. Without mother at his side, the child will simply fight to keep his toy or be overpowered by a bigger, more aggressive child. He either learns to fight or to flee.
      Is this socialization?

 Civilized behavior begins at home.
 

When little children are herded together like so many little lambs with only a few shepherds to protect them, we are foolish to expect "socialization" to be the result.
   Little children do not need other little children to become socialized - they need mother and father. Civilized behavior is learned at home from mother and father. Children learn right from wrong from mother and father and grandmother and grandfather, or they do not learn it at all. The longer a small child spends with his mother each day, the more civilized he will be. The less time he spends with mother each day, the less civilized he will be.
    All mothers know that.
 
Take This Challenge
Arrange for your child to spend more time with you every day and less time with other little children. Be consistent, fair, and honest in all your interactions with your child. In a few months you will have a more mature, kind, and helpful child, but, even better, you will be spending precious time with a wonderful companion who will love and support you for the rest of your life.

 

For More Information on Social Growth
The Pathway to Wellness: Social Growth-available in English, Spanish, Italian, Japanese, Chinese, Indonesian, and French.